At the end of my last post I had just finished having my level 2 ultrasound where they got a really good look at Lorris. And at the end of the visit we were beyond thankful to get the news that Lorris appeared to be just fine, just measuring a wee bit small, about a week behind according to my due date. There were no other major concerns.
Finally some good news!
We were in the clear.
I finally began buying a few things to prepare for her arrival. It had been almost 9 years since my last baby and I had gotten rid of almost everything and the few things that were left had been recalled. I found shopping for her to be so much fun. It had been great buying for my boys when they were little, but the world of little girls clothing was completely new to me. I could spend hours looking at little dresses and rompers. I also loved the thought of putting giant hair bows in the thick brown hair I just knew she was going to have since both her brothers did.
I also began imagining what it would be like when she took her place in our family, not just immediately but in the years to come. I thought about my boys making over her. I dreamed about how we would all sit around the dinner table, Lorris pulled up in her high chair. We would pass a lot of time just watching her and her cute expressions. She would follow the boys and her daddy around and be interested in all the things on the farm. She would love animals much to her momma’s dismay (I’m not an animal person). If Noah and Maxton were interested in a girl, she would require Lorris's seal of approval, any girlfriends would have to win her over first. We would haul Lorris to the ballpark, the tennis courts, to Kentucky basketball games and she would love it. Someday, many years down the road I would get to take her to pick out makeup, a prom dress, and one day a wedding dress for her daddy to walk her down the aisle in. We wouldn’t ever be able to imagine our lives without her, and we would laugh at the thought that is was never our plan to have her in the first place. She was truly a gift, the best surprise ever.
We began working on her nursery. Marty spent an afternoon assembling her brand-new crib (yep, the boys' old bed was recalled) and Maxton even tested it out, climbing in, filling up the whole entire thing. I splurged at Pottery Barn and bought her the most adorable brown and pink bedding with little birds on it. My cousin Angela had asked me if she could throw me a small “sprinkle” in September and I was really looking forward to that although her dresser and closet were already filled with clothes that family and friends had given her. There hadn’t been a little girl in the family for so long, everyone was having a hard time not spoiling her and she wasn’t even here yet.
Marty and I had decided that when Lorris arrived I was going to quit my part time job in insurance sales to stay home with her. I had already cut my hours back to just two days a week, so we felt like it would be a pretty easy transition for us. I wanted to be home and soak up the time with her because she was going to be our last baby. .
The days passed by quickly and soon it was time for my next level 2 ultrasound. The doctor had wanted me to come back in a month to check on the baby's growth from the last visit around 5 weeks ago. I wasn’t nearly as nervous this time. My belly was getting bigger by the day and it felt good to be showing. I knew that this was a sure sign that she was growing and that everything was fine, just as it should be.
I climbed up on the table excited to get another peak at our little girl. The ultrasound tech began taking measurements, just like she had over a month ago. As she began, the first number popped up on the screen beside our baby girl.
21.5 weeks
I was 26 weeks along.
Next measurement, 22 weeks, 21 weeks. . .
I looked over at Marty and he grabbed my hand. He couldn’t hide his look of panic. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Lorris hadn't grown since the last time.
Before I could even ask, the ultrasound tech said that she was going to get the doctor.
When the doctor came in she took a few more measurements all of which hovered around the 21 to 22-week mark.
It was hard for her to hide the fact that she was troubled, “I have some serious concerns about your baby. The measurements we are seeing indicate that Lorris isn't growing the way she should. We are also not able to get a good image of your baby’s stomach or all four chambers of her heart. All this in combination with some of her physical features really lead me to think that your baby may have trisomy 18.”
So, we were back to that. Trisomy 18.
“But in the last month I’ve gotten bigger, I’ve started to show!”
The doctor responded as kindly as she could, “We suspect that your baby’s esophagus and stomach aren’t connected, that's why we can't see her stomach. She’s not able to swallow any of your amniotic fluid. You actually have twice the normal amount as you should that’s why you are noticing you are showing now, it's all that fluid building up."
She went on to say that the only way we would know for sure that it was trisomy 18 was to have an amniocentesis. I knew that normally an amnio wasn’t done this far along in pregnancy, that it was riskier for the baby. When I asked the Dr about this concern she looked at me and said. “Jenny the amount of fluid you are carrying is only going to increase the longer you carry her. There is a very strong possibility in the weeks to come that we will need to drain the fluid off with a needle so you can breathe comfortably. The amnio is no greater risk than that, I really think you should have it done so you will know, so you can prepare.
Prepare?
I excused myself to the restroom so I could take a minute to breath and try to calm myself down.
Once the door was shut I heard Marty ask the nurse if she had ever seen any other babies born with trisomy 18.
“only two, one died before birth the other one right after.”
I wanted to vomit. I felt like I had been hit by a truck.
It was Monday and I had the amnio procedure before we left the office that day. They told me that they would have the initial results back on Friday and they would call and let me know.
All we could do was go home and wait for the call.