God has given us all a story. When I say a story I mean that “thing” that happened in your life that a became a catalyst that changed you from the person who you were, to the person you are now. This “thing” is probably something that has caused a permanent marker on your timeline, a point of reference for the rest of the foreseeable future. Yep, we all have a story and often times that story begins with a phrase like . . .
After I became a mom
After the diagnosis
After my marriage fell apart
After I lost my mom/dad
After depression
After. . . .
So the questions becomes, “what do we do with our story?” What do we do with our “after?” Do we hide our story in the depths of our hearts, locked away so that we never have to relive the pain and the heartbreak that might have gone along with it? Do we harden our hearts so that we are never tempted to share it or connect with others who have also struggled? Perhaps we muster up a little courage and expose a small part of it only to wish we hadn’t and quickly fold it up and put it back inside, promising ourselves we will never let anyone know of it again. We can stuff it in and bury it for a number of reasons - grief, shame, sadness, anger, pain. Sometimes we feel like keeping it hidden is the best option, an act of self-preservation. Maybe we even convince ourselves that not sharing it is the only way to move forward.
But what if? What if we choose to tell our story, releasing the shame, the guilt and the fear. We lose the mask that disguises us, the one that made us look like we had it all under control and together but in the process we gain so much more. We can become real, and authentic with one another as we share our story in a way that He gets the Glory.
I have a story. My point of reference, the marker on my personal timeline is when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Lorris six years ago. When I remember something from the past it falls in one of two categories before Lorris and after.
For a while now, I have felt God nudging me to tell my story. At first I thought I was mistaken, but the gentle nudge has turned into something that I can’t deny as an absolute push from Him to write. I have a website for my small photography business and I’ve started a blog, “Life after Lorris” that will give me the opportunity to be obedient to what He has called me to do. This will be a place that I share about our journey past and present in hopes that it will encourage someone else that is in the trenches facing something similar.
On August 19th of this year Lorris would have been six years old. In a perfect world I would have just walked her in for her second week of kindergarten. In honor of her approaching birthday, I’d like to begin sharing parts and pieces of our story.
My goal is to write raw, honestly, and obediently to His calling. This is exciting and crazy scary for me at the same time.
Until next time. . .